


The Dancer and His Musician

by ibeta



Series: Scenarios [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Dancer UT Sans, Demisexual Sans, Fluff and Angst, Gray Asexual Papyrus, M/M, Musician UF Sans, Pining, Secret Identity, Sexuality Crisis, Stalker Season, Temporarily Unrequited Love, There's A Tag For That
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-05-01 08:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14516523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibeta/pseuds/ibeta
Summary: Their universe fused just under three years ago, and Red has been his best buddy since then.Sans has been learning all he can about music in order to confess to his best friend, Red. Three songs and he can only choose one to choreograph. It wouldn't be so hard if he only knew what kind of music Red was into.Sadly, he receives an unfortunate news that would stop his progress entirely.





	1. crash.exe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverryu25](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverryu25/gifts).



> Happy Birthday! TEARS FOR YOU :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad news wasn't what Sans wanted to hear early in the morning.

The Surface really should spread out some musical mentorship programs.

Sans stared blankly at his computer, tapping his fingers anxiously on the desk as he reviewed the music sheets again. He had to  _perfect_  this. There was no way he’d present this with his usual half-heartedness. Red wouldn’t appreciate a sloppy creation, no matter how much effort put into it. He was as ruthless as Edge when it came to criticising musical works.

But he still didn’t know if he should add lyrics to this mess. He’d been composing for some months now, staying awake just by the seams of his muse. Dancing was all and well for him, but music? Now  _that_  was Red’s area of expertise. They could manage science together, but Red would still have a better musical talent and Sans would still have his better dancing.

How did Red manage to compose so much music in such a short time? Sure, Sans hadn’t seen him working on anything, but Red had said he’d won incognito contests in his universe by composing on the spot. Sans had joined similar contests and done the same thing, so it wasn’t as though it was an unbelievable lie. It was a fact. Red wouldn’t lie about something like that.

It was just too frustrating, trying to figure out which music would be better. Three compositions under his private account and he still had no idea which one to use.

How would one confess their love to another person, in Red’s world? Up-beat? Slow?  _Dirty?_  What if he needed to be romantic? Something like Papyrus’ ballroom dancing, maybe? What about a waltz? What if Red liked something else, like ballet?

Sans only had one magical dance style… his choice of music was limited to a number of genres. It might take too much effort to make music for a dance, but for Red… For Red, he’d make three and more if it made him happy. One smile would brighten up Sans’ week.

Maybe finishing the songs would impress Red, but it wasn’t going to be paired to a dance yet.

Just as he was about to call it a morning of failure, the door to his room suddenly burst open, and Sans scrambled forward to turn off his monitor, SOUL pulsing rapidly under his ribs. He slowly turned his chair around, praying it wasn’t who he thought it was.

He glanced up, relaxing when he saw his brother staring at him with wide sockets. Oh, thank gods if wasn’t Red.

“you startled me, pap,” he sighed heavily, the hand on his sternum wiping off the nerves in his bones. For a moment, he’d thought Red had come bursting in his room to drag him out to Grillby’s again. “knock next time, okay? i thought for a second it was red. you know how he is with my trying on music. he’ll roast me over fire and laugh at my ashes."

“O-OH!” His brother looked horrified. “I’M SORRY, BROTHER! THAT WAS QUITE RUDE OF ME!”

Sans quirked a smile back, amused. “what’s got you so excited, bro?” He leaned back on his chair, thanking the humans who invented back support. “new sale at the resort?” He hoped it was something useful again. The lotion might not have worked for Papyrus, but it suspiciously turned out to be a good lubricant for repairing gears.

His brother bounced on his feet. It wasn’t his usual excitement… it looked nervous. Unsure. Sans had a bad feeling about this. "HAVE YOU HEARD?" he asked, voice hushed, leaning towards him like he was about to whisper a secret.

Wow, Papyrus was so distracted he’d forgotten his regular greeting? What a strange morning.

“‘hello, sans, brother-dear, how are you?’” Sans imitated with a flourish of his hand, “‘i'm doing well, bro.’”

"SANS, THAT'S NOT WHAT I – NO, NEVER MIND! THE POINT IS," Papyrus exclaimed, exasperated, “I HAVE HEARD OF SOMETHING FROM THE NEW CAPITAL THAT I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT!”

Sans hummed. Of course. His brother just came from the New Capital, where the two Asgores and two Toriels lived. Wherever they were, there was always gossip nearby.

"what's up?"

He smiled up his brother, hoping for good news. The last gossip had been a foursome between the monarchs. It wasn’t surprising, really. There’d been tension between the four of them since the beginning. It didn’t help that Red’s Asgore was more submissive than he let on, and Sans’ Toriel just loved on doting on anyone that needed it.

But the frown on his brother's face was worrying. What was so bad that it made his brother look like that—

"I HEARD THAT RED STARTED DATING SOME MONSTERS FROM OUR UNIVERSE!"

Sans' smile faltered and he went numb. Did Papyrus just say—?

‘ _what did papyrus just say?_ ’ He inhaled sharply, rewinding his brother’s words in his mind.  _‘red was dating someone…?’_

Oh…

Red…  _Red_  was taken? Sans swallowed the stone in his throat, breathing out shakily.

"I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW—"

"i didn't," Sans answered quickly, pocketing his trembling hands. He forced a smaller smile on his face, hoping it didn’t look weird. ( _No_ …) "who's he dating?" he questioned lightly, loosening his shoulders.

Papyrus kept his frown. "WELL, THE LAST I HEARD IS THAT BUNNY FROM THE BAR! DRUNK BUN!"

Oh. Sans dropped his chin, struggling not to flinch. Dates with Drunk Bun? She was… Drunk Bun was an odd monster. Kind, but odd… She hid that she was a female bunny monster. She had been in denial and admitted it until the Barrier had broken, but Sans knew before then. She didn’t keep a healthy string of relationships, flitting from one bedmate to another, free as a bunny with multiple suitors.

Was… was Red attracted to that kind of monster? Sans wasn’t like Drunk Bun, he was more of a monster who chose only a few trusted people. He didn’t bed anyone unless he explicitly trusted them. (He felt like he’d been bedmates with Alphys before, but managed to make her fall in love with Undyne after telling her stories about Papyrus’ captain. The feeling of  _déjà vu_  was something he rarely ignored.) He wouldn’t have contemplated bedding Drunk Bun even if she was the last monster in the Underground.

(‘ _or…_ ’ he thought with dread, ‘ _or, was red only attracted to feminine monsters?_ ’)

Sans tried not to think about it, but… it… It made sense. Red was secretly a family monster, protective and nurturing even if he didn’t let anyone know. He would want to pair with someone he could take care of, someone who’d have a side that Red didn’t have. Although there was a gender-variety of monsters that could capture Red’s attention, Sans had no idea… He… He thought him and Red…

"he is?" Stars, his  _voice_. He had to fix that. “i mean, he’s dating  _drunk bun?_ ” What had he…? Why did he even  _try…?_

"I KNOW! LAST TIME IT WAS ICE WOLF'S DAUGHTER! THEN IT WAS THAT DRAGON LADY FROM THE CAPITAL!” Papyrus paused as though he was trying to remember more names. Ice Wolf’s daughter was beautiful and strong, and the dragon lady from the Capital was bipedal with wings and a tail, with shiny gold scales. “THERE WAS MUFFET’S HALF-COUSIN LADY RUFFET, DOGGO’S COUSIN VIXIE AND UNDYNE’S AUNT NEREIDIA."

There was his proof.

Hope dwindled down the drain, drying him up. He could feel his HP drop, could feel his smile tremble. All  _female_  monsters. He didn’t know if Papyrus would notice the change, but he… heh…  _hoped_  not.

All of those monsters were beautiful, effeminate and bodied with good form… with different personalities that didn’t make sense to Sans. Ruffet was loyal, analytical, and she liked to play fetch. Vixie was playful, but she didn’t like anyone staying with her for more than three days. Nereidia… Well, she was Undyne’s aunt and she liked inviting people in her lake for a swim. Naked.

They were also fleshed out, unlike Sans.

He should have done his research. He should have  _asked_  Red. Now he knew…  _He knew_ … ‘ _red wouldn’t have wanted…_ me _._ ’

"he's  _straight?_ " It sounded empty to him, but his brother didn’t notice, distracted by the rhythmic tapping of Sans’ fidgeting foot. Sans felt – he felt  _trapped_ , backed into a corner with no way out. He was in a room, but he didn’t know what he was doing there. This fragile hope that Red would reciprocate his romantic feelings… It wasn’t feasible.

Papyrus gave him a quizzical look. “I – YES, BROTHER, RED IS…  _STRAIGHT_. OR, RATHER, HE PREFERS THE FEMALE VARIETY OF MONSTERS.” His brother made a face. Sans figured he was having an equal trouble understanding it, what with his brother having a low sexual appetite. “I ASKED HIM JUST BEFORE I WENT HOME. HE SAYS HE FINDS THE COMPANY OF WOMEN DELIGHTFUL. HE MENTIONED SOCKETS AND PLUGS AND I TUNED HIM OUT AFTER HE TRIED TO CONVINCE ME THAT I SHOULD ASK UNDYNE AND ALPHYS FOR A  _THREESOME_.”

"i just meant...”

“YES?”

He’d thought Red… They spent so much time together – they… He’d thought… Sans shuddered, lowering his gaze to the floor, pressing his arms closer to himself. Red had hugged him so many times, spent time with him just as much, and they went out together on their whims… Sans must have read him wrong.

“i thought we'd be the same," he said weakly, face falling. He’d  _hoped_ … Stars, he’d hoped so much, but it was so wrong of him to do so, wasn’t it? He could have  _asked_. Gods, he was so stupid – so idiotically dumbed down by his emotions that he’d neglected the most basic of rules in communication:  _asking_.

"OH!" Papyrus gasped. "YOU MEAN YOUR DEMI… THING?" Papyrus’ face twisted in confusion. He gestured at the air in a careful sequence. “THE… BONDING AND TRUSTING TYPE OF DATING?” his brother guessed.

Sans nodded and looked up, half-shrugging. "after the...” Sans cleared his throat. This was okay. He’d told his brother about this before. Sure, he didn’t remember anything about the timelines changing, but there’d been some reports, right? “the...  _loops_. the  _resets_ … you know. i wouldn't have thought he'd be able to share himself like that. like me."

Papyrus was silent only for a moment. "PERHAPS HE HAS WAYS OF PROTECTING HIMSELF!" he suggested, offering a comforting smile. It failed to make Sans feel better, emptied of joy by his discovery.

But Sans still returned a faint smile, laughing tiredly, self-deprecatingly. "that's...” he breathed out slowly, careful not to spill his emotions, “not what i meant, but… that’s good to know."

He… He has  _feelings_  for Red. He loved… he loves Red so much. He’s had dreams of Red kissing him, of Red holding him, and of Red loving him back. His best friend, the one who didn’t mind his jokes and encouraged his bad habits if it suited both of them, would never love him back in the way Sans loved him. They’d started off at the opposite ends of friendship, but they had managed to understand each other well and Sans had thought — he had thought they were getting somewhere special.

Stars, this was – this was  _crushing_. ‘ _pun intended,_ ’ he thought numbly. This agony in his soul… He touched his neck. There was something painful stuck in his throat, something dry and sharp and bloated. He… he really had no chance. His efforts to confess… it was all for nothing, wasn’t it?

He suppressed a sob, gritting his teeth. What –  _what was he going to do?_

He closed his eyes, still smiling tightly. "i think i'll ask him about it. thanks for telling me, papyrus." He would never open his mouth to ask.

“YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME, BROTHER!” Papyrus patted his head, gently. Sans leaned into the touch with a sigh. “NOW, I ALSO CAME TO TELL YOU THAT I WILL BE GOING TO UNDYNE’S FOR TRAINING. I HAVE LEFT FOOD IN THE REFRIGERATOR, SO PLEASE EAT!”

Papyrus left with a kiss to Sans’ forehead, hugging him gently and murmuring that there was a nice meteor shower that would be seen at some country away. He should bring Red with him, since Edge would be training Papyrus at the meadows with both Undynes. Sans whispered his usual goodbyes, wishing Papyrus luck. Papyrus added a worried kiss on the crown of his head before he went out.

When the door finally shut, Sans turned his seat around, the tears he’d held back falling down his cheeks. He covered his mouth, shoulders shaking as he stifled his sobs. Magic soaked his fingerless gloves, staining the fabric with his magic. His sleeves didn’t survive the ordeal, and neither did his heart, whatever was left of it.

He turned his blurry gaze to his monitor, SOUL fluttering weakly. The music… He didn’t need it anymore.

He reached out with trembling fingers, turned the screen on, and then deleted the three songs he’d written for Red.

Only then did he release his sobs, curling into himself, bones rattling at every hitch of his breath.


	2. a little push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans sits by the abyss in Waterfall, feet dangling in the darkness.

He kept himself frantically busy, making excuses to Red about work after a few times he’d been invited for drinks out. He knew it would be a cause for worry – he’d never skipped out before. Three days later, an accident at the lab happened. Fortunately, it wasn’t Sans’ fault, and it gave him more excuses to skip Red’s invitations.

(He’d been waking up in a daze, like he was in a nightmare of a dream.)

His best friend had given him an incredulous look from a video call, and Sans had lied to his face. Sans had lied to _Red_. He had never tried to lie to Red. He’d always told the truth to his counterpart as much as possible. So Sans promised they’d meet up soon, and Sans… he may not like making promises, but Red had looked so confused and disappointed all at once and he couldn’t have that.

He couldn’t stand seeing Red in that state.

Sans’ HP had dropped again, back to a measly four points. It was worrying – he and Red did a regular CHECK of each other, and if Red found out his ten HP had dropped so low… Sans didn’t know how he would explain the sudden decrease. He didn’t want to. He… He’d rather not think about it anymore, but his SOUL hurt _so much_.

He didn’t know why it wouldn’t just stop caring. Sans wanted it to stop hurting. Why did it matter if he wanted Red? He should be happy they were friends. Best friends, even. Friendship mattered more to him than any other relationship.

(But it was _Red_ , and he was important to Sans. He would never leave him hanging for so long.)

So he went to Waterfall to try clear his thoughts. The Abyss, of where the water fell into a pit of darkness, leading to a place that no one knew. If he could move on from his silly crush (deep feelings) for Red, then he could go back to normal.

Sans sat at the edge of the Abyss, legs dangling over the darkness. He hunched forward, fiddling with his phone, staring at the poor excuses he’d made to Red. To his eyes, it was so obvious that he was avoiding Red, even more so after the accident in the lab.

His phone pinged, and a new message popped up. And then it pinged again, and again. Sans blinked, peering at the messages.

 ** _Red_** _[11:48]  
_ * _hey. **  
**_ * _are ya okay?  
_ * _ya haven’t been feeling well, have ya?_

Sans sniffled, wiping at his face. His phone pinged again, and it sounded really loud despite the gaping abyss before him. He didn’t reply. His fingers were shaking too much and he didn’t have the strength yet.

 ** _Red_** _[11:50]  
_ * _i asked ya bro. said ya didn’ eat breakfast today.  
_ * _ya gotta eat breakfast, ya numbskull!  
_ * _i’m the only one that eats like crap in this friendship.  
_ * _also, ya better answer ya phone the next time i call!_

Sans’ fingers itched to write back, but he stopped himself, shaking his head. He shouldn’t… not yet, not until he felt more in control of himself. It wouldn’t do to write something with the way he felt right now.

 ** _Red_** _[11:52]  
_ * _okay, what the fuck is wrong?  
_ * _and don’t tell me ya usual shitty excuses  
_ * _i know when something’s up with ya._

He wilted under the message. He knew lying to Red was futile. He was as sharp as Sans in that sense. His fingers fell on the keypad. He should—

 ** _Red_** _[11:53]  
_ * _wait! don’ answer that.  
_ * _ya bro said that was a rude way to ask._

Sans paused and choked on a watery laugh. Really, his brother? Stars, Red was getting desperate.

The next message took longer to come.

 ** _Red_** _[11:55]  
_ * _fuck! i don’ know how to say things on text.  
_ * _so ya better fuckin appreciate what i’m about to do, sansy._

 ** _Red_** _[11:56]  
_ * _okay, so ya bro helped me on this, so don’ laugh at me:  
_ * _sans, i’m really worried about ya.  
_ * _so ya better tell me what the fuck happened!_

Sans really laughed now, chuckling lowly at Red’s frustration.

 ** _Red_** _[11:57]  
_ * _he didn’ like it.  
_ * _[pap2_long-suffering.png]  
_ * _this is my problem right now.  
_ * _i think ya bro is hard to please._

 ** _Red_** _[11:59]  
_ * _come on, sans.  
_ * _y’know i won’t judge ya, right?_

 ** _Red_** _[12:00]  
_ * _even if ya tripped that one time in my universe…  
_ * _and got a handful of my undyne’s breasts._

Sans snorted, muffling his giggles. He’d been terrified then, remembering how much Red’s Undyne had terrible control on her temper.

 ** _Red_** _[12:01]  
_ * _d’ya remember?  
_ * _oh my god. her_ face _, you fucker.  
_ * _d’ya remember that expression on her face?  
_ * _she was so fuckin dehydrated she couldn’t even stand to suplex ya!_

He couldn’t stop his chortles, remembering the exact time Red’s Undyne had stood up shakily and face-planted on the ground of Hotland. Red hadn’t stopped laughing until they got to the CORE, exchanging mirthful looks as Undyne drank from one of Sans’ water bottle.

 ** _Red_** _[12:03]  
_ * _shit, i think i cracked a rib.  
_ * _but i’m fuckin glad my alphys thought it was hot.  
_ * _yeah, that’s one thing that saved ya from an instant obliteration.  
_ * _be glad they don’ live close to ya.  
_ * _they’re kinky fuckers. pun intended._

Sans traced the messages with a small smile. Red… he really cared, didn’t he?

 ** _Red_** _[12:05]  
_ * _never gonna have enough peroxide.  
_ * _it’s impossible to remove that memory of alphys asking you to touch undyne again.  
_ * _so ya beta thank ya lucky stars, boneboy.  
_ * _my alphys is into some crazy cosplay and roleplay._

 ** _Red_** _[12:07]  
_ * _but hey… back to the topic of ya.  
_ * _come on, sans.  
_ * _tell me what’s wrong.  
_ * _i’m ya friend, ain’t i?  
_ * _ya been there for me a lot.  
_ * _so ya gotta let me be there for ya, too._

Sans swallowed his tears, keeping his teeth shut. He still wasn’t… He wasn’t okay yet. He didn’t know how he’d react to seeing Red. He couldn’t… He shouldn’t—

_ping!_

**_Red_** _[12:10]  
_ * _if someone’s threatening ya, i can fuck them up easy.  
_ * _no evidence left behind, o’course.  
_ * _**no one** **messes with my best bud and lives to tell the tale.**  
_ * _…ya know that, right?_

 ** _Red_** _[12:12]  
_ * _c’mon, ya sweetheart.  
_ * _don’ make me come find ya and cuddle the shit out of ya._

 ** _Red_** _[12:14]  
_ * _…  
_ * _fuckin gods, ya infected me.  
_ * _i never woulda thought hugging was an attack if ya guys hadn’ squished the soul outta me.  
_ * _ya fluffy fuckers don’ mess around in healin, don’tcha._

 ** _Red_** _[12:16]  
_ * _saaans, my buddy, my pal, my chum.  
_ * _c’mon doll, let best bud red help ya out.  
_ * _i’ll even let ya talk me into knocking back milk if i have to._

 ** _Red_** _[12:18]  
_ * _and ya know i don’ like milk much!  
_ * _…sans?_

He was really such a horrible friend.

The tears fell freely from his sockets, a miniature waterfall in Waterfall. He hadn’t felt like this since… since they were all trapped in the Underground, before the Merging happened. Heartbroken, though he knew he shouldn’t be.

He let his tears fall into the darkness, face crumpling. He felt utterly alone, even if the warm messages from his phone would be enough to make a fire. The breeze was cold, but he didn’t feel it, tucked into a jacket that Red had given him. There were little lights floating around, some smattering of echo flowers behind him whispering static, but it didn’t incite the usual awe from him. There was nothing fun about this place.

It was a good place to think alone.

Then his phone rang, vibrating in his hand. Sans turned it over and saw Red’s name.

Oh, no.

Reluctantly, he answered the call. If he didn’t, Red would have called and called and called or search for him, worried down to his bones.

“red?”

“ _sans,_ ” Red breathed. Sans closed his eyes, wiping the tears from his face. Stars… he’d missed Red’s voice. When was the last time they heard each other? His voice sounded deeper, rougher like he’d just woken up. “ _c’mon, sans, what’s going on?_ ”

Gods and stars, he was so selfish, making Red worry like this. “just… having some alone time,” he said steadily, gazing down beyond his feet. “thought i’d give this self-reflection thing a try.”

Red’s voice was tinged with worry that Sans hadn’t meant to cause. “ _was it ‘cause of wha’ happened at yer lab?_ ”

It wasn’t the reason. “red…” He closed his sockets, shuddering.

“ _’cause yer know tha’ ain’t yer fault, yeah?_ ” Red whispered, “ _yer were out fer yer break an’ yer lab partner was suppose ta watch over things._ ”

Sans mouth twisted into a frown. “how did you know that?” That wasn’t a fact plastered in the news. Some really important papers had burned, but Sans had prepared copies for such an incident, so it hadn’t mattered.

Red cleared his throat. “ _i… er. may have paid yer lab friends a visit._ ”

“you could get in trouble.” But Sans’ SOUL pulsed with warmth at the thoughtfulness of the action. Red really did mean it when he said he’d protect his friends.

His best friend chuckled darkly. “ _nah, yer lab pal was pretty fuckin’ terrified a’ me. spilled some beans on my shoes while he was at it._ ”

Sans’ mouth twitched into a small smile. “real beans?” he asked quietly, recognizing the tone.

“ _real, red beans. i had to grab a can opener to get it off._ ”

“heh heh heh…”

There was a moment of silence, and it wasn’t awkward. Sans could hear Red’s clothing shifting, cloth brushing over cloth. Moving. Red was walking. Sans’ free hand brushed over his own clothing. He’d been wearing the same clothes since that day.

Red spoke up again. “ _…sans._ ”

“hmm?” He traced Red’s name on the ground beside his femur, putting in small rocks into the depression to mark it.

“ _c’mon, sansy._ ” Red’s tone was softer, quieter. Sans’ SOUL ached to reach out and comfort his friend. Shoot. No, he… he shouldn’t do that, right? Touch Red while he felt… he felt romantic things for him?

Sans didn’t know why it made him shed more magic.

“ _tell me what’s actually wrong. ya don’ care ‘bout stuff like the accident. yer lab partner said ya had extra copies._ ”

Sans shook his head, brushing his tears away. He took one more look at the little mark he’d made, smiling softly. He really had a good friend. Why couldn’t his SOUL just accept that? “nothing’s wrong, red. i think i’m just stressed out.” He tapped a naked phalange on Red’s name, nodding. “all i need is some time to fix it.”

Sans could only hear Red’s sigh.

“ ** _l i a r._** ”

Sans’ head shot up at the duality of Red’s voice. ‘ _was that…?’_ He turned his skull, and met Red’s glowing eyelights in the dark. His phone slipped out of his grasp, tumbling down to his side.

Oh stars.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coincidentally, it's also my brother's birthday today. May 3. Yesterday was Ryu's, May 2.
> 
> Happy Birthday, big brother. May you never grow even taller than you are now. Please, stop collecting shoes. They're everywhere.


	3. just like a star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “sans… this don’t look like fixin’ it to me.”

“r-red,” Sans whispered, taking in Red’s narrowed gaze and frown. His soul pulsed frantically, seeing that kind of look directed at him. Red hasn’t directed that look at him since they’d become friends ages ago.

“sans… this don’t look like fixin’ it to me.” A soft, frustrated growl followed after, emphasized by Red running a hand down his face. It was a familiar tell of uncertainty and exhaustion.

Though a dying excuse wanted to escape Sans, he stopped it. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t good. Red would _know_ , and he’d just worry even more. But he couldn’t halt the tear that fell from his socket, trailed by more magic that came from his hurt SOUL.

Red’s sockets widened. “sans—”

Sans was horrified. “i-i… s-sorry, red—”

“ _fuck_ ,” Red swore, and rushed to him, stepping over echo flowers that echoed the crunch of his shoes on the ground. Sans hastily followed the tears with his gloves, cursing himself for being so fixated by Red’s sudden appearance. Stars damn it, he shouldn’t even have – shouldn’t have been so _distracted_.

There was just a short second of Red removing his jacket and shoving it down, and then Sans was in Red’s arms, held firmly. He gasped inaudibly, freezing. The touch was grounding and Sans forgot what he was supposed to say, the reasons in his mind’s eye disappearing without a hint. He sat there with a blank mind and didn’t remember why he was crying in the first place.

“gods fuckin’ damn it—” Red stopped, and then he shuddered.

Sans felt the tremors, the subtle vibrations. Was Red angry? Did he make him mad? He… he felt so tired.

“i’m not good at this,” Red growled, his grip tightening slightly, and then loosening just as quick. Red sighed. There was a hand at Sans’ back, running up and down his jacket in a soothing rhythm. “but… what… what gotcha in this mess? who’d i hafta dunk on?”

Oh.

The memories came back with a vengeance, followed by an overwhelming sea of loneliness. His SOUL wasn’t in a good shape, aching and confused. Not yet… He wasn’t ready. Stars, he wasn’t ready yet. He hasn’t convinced himself yet of simply choosing to be Red’s best friend. He hasn’t… he…

Why did Red have to find him so quickly? Sans gritted his teeth and hid his face under his hood, wishing he could crawl under a rock and fade. This was bad. This was so bad, but…

“s-sorry—”

Red weakly interjected, “w-what tha fuck happened t’ya? yer… yer said yer were fine, an’ now yer in fuckin’ tears, i thought fer a moment yer were gonna – that yer…” His best friend’s words died into a soft whine.

Sans moved as close as he could without hugging back, lowered his head. “i… i wasn’t, red,” he whispered. He knew what had gone through his best friend’s mind. Him, sitting alone at the edge of a seemingly bottomless pit of darkness… “i came here to deal with it.” Dealing with it miserably, he meant, but didn’t tell him.

“fuck that!” Red swore, but there was something fragile in his voice that edged on a plea. “jus… don’… look, yer my best friend, r-right? i’ve… i’ve never seen you cry, not… not even when y’get yer nightmares.  an’ even then yer always lookin’ so fuckin’ zen about it.”

Red pulled away and Sans was caught in a fierce, angry gaze. Red’s mouth was pulled down into a frown, browridge lowered.

Sans tensed. “uh…” He’d never seen that directed at him before. Edge _owned_ that kind of gaze from Red.

“but now yer havin’ an off week or somethin’,” his best friend muttered, eyelights turning to sharp pinpricks of light, roving over Sans’ form as if he was trying to find out a physical reason as to _why_ Sans would have a bad week. Sans could understand the need. He didn’t take more than two days to fix himself, but this time… “‘cause yer ain’t even met up with me ta some place. yer bro saw yer and i get that, but fuck, sans, ya gotta tell me things. i don’ know what’s goin’ on in that mind-a yers.”

Sans shied away from his look, eyelights trailing to Red’s sweater, tucked so neatly under Red’s jacket. It was the stupid yellow one that Sans had gotten him for a prank last year. The black vest and red dress shirt had been underneath the gift, but Red’s uproarious laughter still had Edge shouting all kinds of profanity at the both of them.

There was some kind of stain on it.

Upon a closer look, he finally saw it, and he froze. There were strands of short, brown hair on top the weaving. He’d seen the familiar pattern before on Drunk Bun’s bedmates when they’d bother to go with her to Grillby’s.

So it was true… Sans’ SOUL pulsed hollowly, sinking. He never really had the chance, did he?

Sans shook his head slowly, feeling utterly alone all of a sudden. No, he… he…

He needed to be strong. If Red found out about his stupid crush… If Red found out, then Sans would lose a great friend – a friend that stood by him through his bad days and his good days and even his boring days. He’d lose Red’s morbid jokes and his aggressive, shy hugs. He’d lose the moments where they talked of everything and nothing and…

He wasn’t strong enough to lose Red.

“i was having an off week,” he confessed, omitting a whole lot of other things that could ruin their relationship. He didn’t know what to say, not when his mind was so conflicted, at war with itself and the ideas that threatened to spill from his mouth. He was hurt. He was in pain. “i really think i can handle it, red. you know me. i keep to myself when i have a bad day.”

Red sighed out a shaky breath. “shit, sweetheart, yer gotta let me help,” his best friend pleaded. There was an undertone in his words that encouraged Sans to nod hesitantly. Dropping in a pet name meant he’d really scared Red. He wouldn’t be this sweet otherwise. “i nearly couldn’t track yer down—”

“but you did,” he commended reflexively as Red’s voice cracked a little. “you found me.”

“only after i fuckin’ swept up the whole underground,” Red snarled lowly, startling Sans. Red’s fingers were sharp and he could feel them through his jacket, scraping the cloth above his scapula. “those fuckin’ dogs were coverin’ yer goddamned tracks since last week. yer fuckin’ shortcuts were all over between the surface and the underground. yer _fans_ pointed me to the opposite sides of yer fave’rit spots.” Sans was shaking, only to notice that it was caused by Red. He looked up with wide eyelights at the near-feral expression on his best friend’s face. He could only describe it as… ‘at the edge.’

“then how…?” Sans trailed off. His best friend struggled with his words, and once again he was witness to the pained grimace he’d never thought he’d be familiar with.

Red replied a sharp, angry, “i only found ya ‘cause of stupid damn luck. followed the old trails i knew from my ‘verse to the quietest places i know.”

Sans murmured a surprised, “oh,” before turning silent.

Red seemed to understand he was done and just kept holding him, even if Sans didn’t dare reciprocate. He wasn’t supposed to do that, right? He felt romantic feelings for Red. But then, if he did stop his… his _regular_ physical affection with Red, then Red would be suspicious of him. He’d ask questions Sans wouldn’t be able to give _straight_ answers. Heh.

Sans’ smile drooped around the edges, eyelights lowering. He tentatively hugged back, arms loose around Red’s waist. He hid his face on Red’s jacket, weeping quietly as his best friend, the love of his life, comforted him for a lie.

———

Sans stared aimlessly around as they walked to Sans’ house in Snowdin. His feet moved away flowers from his path, crushing dead grass under his shoes. They followed a small trail of magic curling and unwinding, mimicry of breadcrumbs for the lost monsters that didn’t know how to get back to the towns.

Red was talking lowly to him, saying something about having dinner at the Grillby’s in Snowdin, something about meeting up with people, mentioning no bunny, but there was an implication in his voice that he was expecting something good.

Sans murmured that he was tired, that he just wanted to sleep.

He wanted to spend time with Red, but he knew he wasn’t ready yet. He still felt a fluttery sensation in his ribs whenever Red touched him, romantic or otherwise. He wanted to lean close and hold his hand, maybe give him a kiss. He wanted to cuddle on the couch and watch some stupid show from the Underground Cable. He wanted so much—he can’t let this go out.

He had to be like a star. So close, yet so far away.

It was the only way to stop being this pitiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what happens next... hmmm...
> 
> IF THERE ARE MISTAKES, OR CUT-OFF SENTENCES... tell me. Message me. Dance the Macarena, summon a demon, and let it write down all the sins I have committed in this fic. Don't let a little soul-selling stop you.


	4. helping hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans should have probably figured out this would happen sooner or later.

Red paced back and forth his door, eyelights darting at Sans now and then. They were in Sans’ room in Snowdin, the closest place, according to Red, that was safe for them. Sans couldn’t protest that, except going into the house had tripped the alarms he’d previously placed and alerted his brother of their presence in the house.

Papyrus had met them earlier after his training with Edge and went to the kitchen to prepare his special get-well soup. Sans wasn’t sure what the ingredients would be, but he hoped it was edible. Red wasn’t picky, but he’d definitely developed some taste in food after some months in Sans’ world.

“so are yer going to be free tomorrow?” Red asked him, still eyeing him like he was about to bolt through the window and out into the snow. Sans couldn’t blame him for his vigilance, knowing he’d disoriented Red with his avoidance. Red was the sort to stick to some kind of safe routine, something familiar that he could tackle easily.

Sans shrugged loosely. “don’t know,” he admitted lowly, glancing down at his lap. “didn’t check my schedule.” He hadn’t been following it anyway. His… his stupid crush on Red had been keeping him off his game.

Red huffed. It wasn’t the angry kind of huff, but the amused huff he always had for Sans. “me an’ sum monsters got invites to shyren’s. i thought ya would’ve been all over it.”

“i’m not really that interested in dancing,” Sans mumbled. Right now, all he wanted to do was nap, and maybe stare at Red some more.

Red’s face looked tired. His magic seemed sharper and darker around his sockets. There was more evidence of Drunk Bun’s fur on his clothes. At the third strand of hair, he just made sure his eyelights stared at the carpet. It was safer, less depressing.

It wasn’t like he’d miss out. Shyren had a permanent invite for him despite not knowing who he was. Being a freestyle dancer had its perks sometimes.

Red stopped pacing. “not into _dancing?_ ” Red repeated, and Sans had to look up at him to see what he meant. Red’s mouth was turned down, browridge set into an angry, righteous scowl.

He wasn’t sure why his friend’s expression was set that way. He hadn't annoyed him, had he?

“did anyone make fun of yer dancin’?” he demanded, “‘cause i gotta tell ya, bud… that ain’t sittin’ right with me. yer bro sings yer praises when i can get ‘im to talk about yer dancin’! he hasn’t mentioned anyone dissing yer steps fer it.”

“t-thanks, i guess.” Sans turned his head away. He couldn’t quite manage to hide the flush of magic on his cheeks.

Red wasn’t… he wasn’t that generous with praise, claiming that he’d only do it if someone deserved it. The lack of trust in his version of the Underground had made him determined into keeping kind words to himself. When Red said things like that, Sans’ soul fluttered helplessly, thrilled to be noticed by someone important to him.

But stars, did they really have to… have to talk about dancing? Sans couldn’t even contemplate stepping on the dance floor anymore, not when… Not since… Not since he’d heard Red was straight. He couldn’t even picture himself dancing to any kind of music. He hadn’t thought he’d be back into this kind of mindset, not when monsterkind was free to roam the surface. It wasn’t a good feeling.

“…sans?” There was a palpable tension in the air, one that could be cut with a knife. Sans peeked at Red, who stared at him with pleading pinpricks of his eyelights.

Sans sat up _straight_. Heh. “yeah?”

“are ya… are ya sure yer okay?” Red whispered, wiping a hand down his sweater. Sans nearly copied the telltale gesture of nerves, just as anxious as Red probably felt. “‘cause yer not…” Red hesitated, “yer kinda quiet, sweetheart.”

Sans couldn’t hide the flush on his face this time. “i – i’m just thinking about something.” He was thinking about ways to make Red avoid saying things like that to him – stars, he wasn’t that strong enough to hear Red calling him names of endearment. He wasn’t ready. He… he could get his hopes up with the way Red was staring at him in such worry, with such obvious care in his expression.

It was frankly alarming how quickly he melted inside when Red called him sweet names. Red didn’t even notice he was doing it, probably used to saying it because of his best friend status. Even his edgy brother received such softness once in a while and it never failed to make Edge sputter and blush and look gentle.

“yer not sick, are ya?” Red murmured, eyelights flashing. And it was that tone that Sans was dreading to hear. That was Red’s... Oh—

“red, wait—” Sans braced himself for the CHECK, shuddering when he felt Red’s magic scan him. He felt more than heard Red’s sharp inhalation.

His best friend almost flew across his bed when he lunged to grip his shoulders. Sans flinched, but it wasn’t because Red’s grip was tight – it was loose, and yet it was also caging, with Sans trapped between Red and the headboard.

“ ** _w h a t   h a p p e n e d?_** ” Red snarled lowly, red eyelights wild and sharp teeth parted with near-murderous intent.

“i…” Sans stared at him with wide, panicked eyelights. He’d never seen Red so out of control. The words and excuses lodged in his throat and he choked, trembling.

Red’s eyes darted across his face, and then he took a deep breath. “f-fuck. i didn’t mean ta – ‘m not gonna hurt ya, just…”

Sans jolted when Red dropped his head forward, allowing their foreheads to touch. “red…” That wasn’t what Sans had felt. He was worried red would go out and get into trouble.

Red’s sockets were shut, and his whole body was shaking again. Sans couldn’t tell if he was angry or anxious. “can… can ya tell me,” Red began quietly, “what happened to yer hp?”

Sans paused, waiting for Red to say something else, but he didn’t. “had some thoughts. went deep into the thoughts i shouldn’t have lingered in,” Sans whispered, feeling sick that he had to lie. It was his fault, after all. Falling in love with Red wasn’t in his plan, but he did, and that… that wasn’t something he should have done. They were friends and Red trusted him enough to believe him and now he had to lie because he didn’t want to lose Red—

“n-nightmare?” his friend sighed, assuming things once more.

“it felt like resets.” Sans woke up from temptingly sweet dreams and was met with a lonelier reality. He so badly wanted to stay asleep, but he knew that was wrong – it was like he was fantasizing about Red. Dreaming about Red like that… Sans shuddered. “you know it happens, sometimes.”

“yer down by a lotta points,” Red breathed harshly. His grip shifted, tightening and loosening over and over again like he was trying to control himself – as though he was restraining himself from doing something bad. Red held himself with a cagey stiffness, though. He’s controlled, even if his eyelights were wild with his magic, excess of it fading into the air. “like a fuckin’ lot.”  
  
Sans nodded slowly. “by six points.” There was no use denying it. Ten to four points was a drastic change. “n… nothing i can’t get back, of course,” Sans added hastily, seeing Red’s expression shift slightly. He could gain more HP, he just had to find some hope…

Stars, that sounded like the worst idea in the world. Losing HP wasn’t that bad to him, since he’d lived with one HP before. He survived until now. He had four points left, not just a single one. He… just… had to find hope. Somewhere.

“yer letting us help, right?” Red’s tone was firm, unyielding.

Sans trembled at the thought of being near Red. He… He wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. Not yet. He still wanted… things that he shouldn’t entertain. Not even in his sleep.

“i’ll let you help when i run out of options,” Sans bargained quietly, looking away momentarily. “i’m not a baby bones, after all. i can figure something out.” He offered Red a smile that he’d given Papyrus before to reassure him.

Red’s eyelights dilated, and then he searched Sans’ face for something. “i… i guess i can work with that,” he sighed, retracting his hands. “just… just let us know if ya need anythin’, alright? me and my bro have yer back.”

Sans nodded, and then scooted back to get more space away from Red, already aching from the distance. “sure.”

He could… he could try dancing, he supposed. He… Even if he didn’t have the urge to dance at all right now… He could try.

That’s all he can do right now.

———

Footsteps of boots echoed outside Sans’ room, where his friend napped quietly in bed. Red eyed the other skeleton as he turned over for the fifth time. Sans was an unusual calm sleeper, so seeing him so restless like this…

He CHECKED Sans again, using a stronger bit of magic to boost the observation.

 **sans**  
**lv: 1**  
**hp: 4/4**  
**at: 1**  
**df: 1**  
**mt: ???**  
**dt: ???**  
  
***a restless sleeper**

Red gritted his teeth at the sight of his HP. Sans had been at a single HP the first time they’d met. Red had been a great ass to him at first, not knowing just how much of a good guy Sans was. He hadn’t been the kindest person, glaring and hissing and shouting profanities at him, doubting Sans’ good intentions and warning his brother to stay away from him. He even frequently CHECKed Sans just to spite him, to make him feel all the horrible things that Red felt back then.

Sans had taken all those in stride, his powerful patience for Red’s irritation bordered on negating every little thing that Red spat at him. He hadn’t even blinked when Red insulted Papyrus, just telling him not to be mean and whispering that he should get to know his brother’s double.

Papyrus didn’t have a single bad bone on his body. He was kind, a little sarcastic and ultimately a motivated realist when he knew the facts. He was like his bro, except nicer and even more forgiving. He didn’t mind when Red swore and enjoyed other puns that wasn’t just about bones.

It was only when Sans fell asleep with Red in the room that made him start hesitating. Sans knew enough that Red wasn’t a big fan of his, and yet he took the risk to nap in the living room, so completely vulnerable. Red had felt… He wasn’t sure. But to think that Sans had trusted him enough to sleep near Red, without anyone to stop Red from doing stars know what…

Red had slowly held back in being rude, and it seemed like Sans and his brother took that as an invitation to be more weirdly affectionate with him. He’d slowly gotten used to getting picked up by Papyrus, and then getting slept on by Sans. Healing had been violent in a good way. Papyrus had caged him in an embrace while Sans had healed him, scolding him lightly for getting into fights with other monsters from ‘Fell universe.

It had been strange to feel the kindness in Sans’ magic. To feel how much Sans appreciated his presence that he’d be able to heal some old scars.

Red glanced down at his hands, unblemished with the marks that had been there nearly all his life. Sans had erased so much of the scars that could have instantly dusted him. Cracks gone, bones healed. Red hadn’t felt so at ease before, but now he did, because he knew Sans could heal him up in a second.

He turned to Sans, clenching his hand when Sans’ mouth turned downward.

It was probably his turn to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red was a bonehead!
> 
> please tell me of any mistakes, spelling or grammar. feel free to tell me what feels odd about this chapter.
> 
> mt is musical talent. dt could either be determination or dance talent. x'D
> 
> Real Life: a lot of things have happened in the real world, including some fund-needing, but now that i possibly have a job (to be social, apparently), i can probably relax a bit. hopefully.


	5. red's hand

The path to Waterfall was a damp hell of a nightmare, but his best friend still took it. Red didn’t know how Sans managed to keep his shoes on the right path, where the soil didn’t sink around his feet, but he did it so well that he looked like he was gliding. It must’ve been his skills as a dancer. Though Red had never actually seen him dance, he was sure Sans had something to do with the ground.  
  
He only knew little bits of Sans’ dance skills from the kinder Papyrus, and Sans’ brother never failed to sound admiring.  


Sans hopped over a log, and Red followed a few steps away, hidden in familiar shadows. He wasn’t supposed to be acting like a creep, watching over his best friend like this. He had no excuse but the fact he had no idea what to do with Sans’ little breakdown from earlier.  


He hadn’t ever seen Sans so glum like that before, not even after his best friend’s nightmare episodes. The other skeleton always _mustard_ a smile for him at times like those, genuine and soft, maybe a little tired. It wasn’t like the broken smile that Sans had shown him at his room, eyes downcast and avoiding his gaze. That wasn’t usual of his buddy. Sans wasn’t – he didn’t… He was a smiley, soft-hearted bastard with a heart of light. He made just as stupid jokes as Red did and pranked as much as his brother on a rampage. He wasn’t supposed to be moping around like he was mourning, HP dropping to single digits. He wasn’t supposed to be walking like he had was...  


Sans wasn’t this sad piece of monster that had nothing left to live for—it just wasn’t right.  


His buddy turned left, and Red realized it was a field with no trees close enough to hide in. Cursing, he peeked from the side of the tree. Sans had sat on a small boulder by a small spring, leaning back on his hands and looking at the crystal ceiling of the Underground. He couldn’t see Sans’ expression, but Red had a feeling it would be wistful. He stared at the same ceiling before from his own world, though his world didn’t have that much sparkle since the time scavengers stole the crystals for trade in the city.  
  
Watching his best friend sitting alone in some open field made him feel guilt. He didn’t know what was up with his buddy, so he couldn’t even help him. Sans was just as stubborn in keeping his hurts close to his soul, wouldn’t want to reveal it to just anyone, even Red. If Red tried to pry, it’d most likely push his friend away.  
  
Just as he was about to leave, Red caught sight of Sans standing up. Red stood carefully out of sight, hiding more in the shadows. He wasn’t about to be busted by his buddy. He wouldn’t live it down if he got caught.  
  
Sans started fidgeting, and pacing – an obvious tick of hesitation. After a few more steps, Sans started doing some weird movements. He lifted his foot forward here, twisted his torso there, and all the while making sure his arms kept up with the slow motions.  
  
Watching him, Red realised that Sans was dancing. Or trying to dance, he noted, when Sans stopped at moments to further the evidence of great hesitation. It was stilted, and it didn’t flow like Papyrus had told him it would. He was too awkward and too fidgety in his dance.  
  
Sans did a little more of his dancing before he stopped and sat back on his boulder, burying his face into the soft gloves Red knew he’d never taken off. The guilt swelled inside Red as he saw Sans’ shoulder slump down. It wasn’t a dance. It wasn’t even a practice of dancing. It was Sans giving up on something that his brother mentioned he’d loved.  
  
Red quietly backed into a shortcut, hoping to find something that would make Sans feel even a little better.

Sans was Red’s best friend, after all. What kind of friend would he be if he left Sans in this kind of mood?  
  
———  
  
Sans hadn’t skipped work the next day. The lab had been fixed, according to his lab partner. Red had checked the lab personally to make sure it wasn’t tampered with some nasty traps. He couldn’t get it out of his head that Sans wasn’t feeling well enough to be left alone, so he’d also followed him in secret. When his brother hadn’t mentioned anything about his absence at home, he figured he was still good with stealth when it came to following someone.  
  
In one of his routines, Red had told his brother he was going out with Bun and left. Bun had been drunk enough to crawl, so Red had taken her home as quickly as he could, knowing she’d be knocked out until the next day if she’d slept then. Afterwards, he tracked Sans’ mobile tricycle heading to Grillby’s. Sans hadn’t invited him today, so Red had free time in his hands – though it was really weird that his counterpart didn’t ask him to hang out.  
  
Peering through the window, Red could see Sans playing around with his fries. He poked and prodded and arranged his fries by size, and then he carefully soaked the tips with ketchup. His face didn’t show much emotion, that much Red could tell from the way his shoulders drooped at his side. Grillby didn’t ask his buddy anything, just stayed a silent glowing fire monster behind the bar. When Sans was finished, he pushed away from the counter and left some gold coins on the glossed wood.  
  
Red scampered back into the shadows, crushing the stress ball in his hand as he tried to control his anger. With the way Sans was acting, it couldn’t be anything else but a personal problem to be affecting him. He hadn’t seen anyone change the expression on his buddy’s face, good or bad. There wasn’t a noticeable reaction from anything in Sans’ routine, nothing that could tell Red how to help.  
  
With a grumble, he took out the stone from his pocket and lifted it to the night sky. It was a small, oval-shaped stone that glittered like it was made from a million crushed crystals. It was a small thing that came from Red’s universe, something that was used for trading since gold had been scarce in Red’s universe. He’d had it since Sans’ drop of mood, knowing something so stupid and sentimental could cheer him up. Or at least, Red hoped so. He couldn’t predict Sans when they weren’t on the same wavelength.  
  
Knowing his best friend’s schedule by heart, he took a shortcut in Sans’ lab, and left the little stone as a paperweight on his desk. But then he caught a glimpse of one of Sans’ experiments on the table, so he had to pause. It was a luminescent liquid inside a flask, and it glowed a pretty, pale shade of blue. Underneath it were papers about the experiment, something that had no reaction to air, so it was exposed so simple.  
  
There were unfinished formulas on the paper that intrigued Red, something that he hadn’t touched yet upon the merging of the worlds. He surveyed the room before taking a peek at the neat lines and numbers. Something about the numbers clicked in his head. He grabbed a pencil from the jar on the table and scribbled in some notes, giving himself a mental pat on the back when he figured out what Sans was trying to do. Echo flower dew? A piece of cake. Sans had told him all about it that one time they were hanging out at Grillby’s.  
  
Sans had probably felt too tired to think all about it and that’s why he left some of the notes incomplete. Red could help him with this, too. It was the least he could do for Sans.


End file.
